On Wednesday September 29, 2005, Criminal Profiler Pat Brown flew to New Jersey to appear on "A Current Affair" and profile their recent interview of Joran van der Sloot in Holland. What aired was only part of the full damning analysis of Joran's thirty minute performance, a performance he believes will convince us of his innocence.

Analysis of the Joran van der Sloot Interview with "A Current Affair"

:19 Joran starts lying the minute he opens his mouth. He tells the interviewer, Gerry Wagschal, "No thanks, I don't really want to give any comment." He then talks for more than thirty minutes and offers to continue the interview on another day.

:55 "...If Natalee is really missing and if something bad really happened to Natalee." Hullo, Joran, if Natalee is really missing? Why do you think you were in jail all these months? Has Natlee really been going to school, shopping at the mall, and eating dinner with her family and we just haven't heard the news?

1:09 "I don't like the way people are boycotting Aruba; that so many people are suffering because one person is missing." People aren't just suffering because one person is missing; people are suffering because you and your friends are liars and the police system has failed to date.

1:38 "She was very nice." Considering the fact you make much of the fact she was extremely aggressive in pursuing you, acted like a slut, was a pain in the butt about refusing to leave the beach, and insulting her mother, it is awful kind of you to say she was very nice.

1:39 "I didn't have any feelings toward her because I just met her that night." I guess the ex-girlfriend who you cheated on would be happy to hear that you didn't even feel attracted toward a girl that you broke up the relationship over.

2:10 "I know me and my friends lied and I'm really sorry for that." I bet you are sorry that the lies didn't work.

2:25 "I hope she's fine." She's been missing for months, Joran. She is either dead or locked in a cell in someone's basement. I doubt she is having a great time on the island.

2:30 "I liked because I was scared and that's the truth because I didn't want to admit leaving her alone at the beach." You said you did not have sex with Natalee and your friends didn't have sex with Natalee. This means she only rode in a car with you and sat on a beach with you. Even if she were found raped and murdered, there would be zero evidence linking this to you. So, admitting you left her on a beach hardly seems worth going to jail over. Oh, wait, you thought you had also lied quite well in getting those security guards to be the suspects, so you didn't expect the police to look at such a nice, upper class boy and his buddies again.

2:55 "And that's the truth." Sure it is.

3:12 "The other two guys dropped me off there." Yet you later told police they had assaulted Natalee. What a friend!

3:50 "First of all, she was eighteen and I was seventeen." Yes, she was the older more experienced woman and you were just a babe in the woods.

4:17 "I don't respect her (Natalee's mom, Beth Twitty) going on TV and boycotting Aruba." I don't think we care who you respect. You obviously didn't respect Natalee or the police or Aruba yourself since your lies and actions show you could really care less about anyone but yourself.

4:37 "I told the truth and I know she (Natalee's mom) knows the truth because I know she read most of the statements in the case." What she knows, Joran, is that you have lied over and over and over and you are still lying here. I don't think she is going to start believing a pathological liar anytime soon and that is the truth.

5:33 "Look what she is doing to the island." If you cared so much about Aruba, Joran, you could end this whole charade.

6:41 "I am not hiding anything." Except the truth and "exactly what happened," which you later state during this same interview you are not ready to tell.

6:59 "My worst nightmare is if something bad happened to Natalee." I like how you keep saying "if" as though there is some possibility Natalee is just fine. Why don't you say, "Obviously something bad happened to Natalee and I wish they would find out who did it because it wasn't me."

7:29 "It makes no sense to boycott an island that depends on tourism." It really touches my heart that over and over you state your concern for the island but not for a poor young girl who has probably been murdered.

8:00 "I don't blame them for pointing fingers at me." Stop grinning, Joran.

8:59 "All the evidence shows nothing bad happened." We all know something bad happened, Joran, we just don't know where.

9:38 "I don't want to be talking right now." You are laughing again, Joran. You tend to laugh when you are not telling the truth.

10:09 "I don't have one thing to say to Beth." Why are you so angry at Natalee's mother? Is it because she's hitting a nerve?

10:23 "I was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, maybe with the wrong people." Which wrong people, Joran? Are you blaming your friends again for something bad happening?

10:47 "First of all, it is none of your business what happened (on the beach) (laughs) that's part of the investigation." If you told the truth, Joran, what is left to investigate?

10:50 "I hope she's okay, I hope she's fine." Do you think if you say this over and over what happened might not be true after all? Or do you think we will think you have some concern for Natalee by saying this?

11:11 "Yes, I was seeing someone." Lucky girl.

11:15 "Yes, I cheated on this other person with her." I thought you said you didn't have sex with Natalee? I don't know too many kids your age who think being drunk one night and kissing a girl under duress is considered cheating.

11:31 "What I did was wrong." You seem to have a problem with doing things that are wrong. Nice of you to admit these things once we know the truth.

11:48 "It was her." This is the beginning of the "blame the victim" part of your speech.

11:52 "It was Natalee who asked me to go out with her. It was her that asked me to go to the club. It was her who was yelling at me to dance with her. It was her that wanted to come with us." Yes, Joran, you are totally innocent in everything. Everyone else is to blame. While you are at college, perhaps you will want to study Psychopathology 101. Blaming everyone else is one of the major traits of a psychopath (along with pathological lying.)

12:10 "I didn't even know who Natalee Holloway was (when her parents showed up at my door the next day with her picture.)" Are you actually saying, Joran, that this girl who forced you to go out with her, forced you to buy her drinks, forced you to dance, forced you to take her along with you in the car, forced you to go to the beach, forced you to kiss her, and tried to force you to stay with her all night, made so little an impression on you that you couldn't remember her face or name?

13:29 "I've never touched a girl in an aggressive way in my life." Why does your face light up and you laugh giddily when you say this, Joran?

13:55 "It was totally her choice to stay in the car (when her friends called to her._" Totally her fault, yeah.

14:50 (itches his nose) "I don't know what happened." Maybe what you meant to say was "I don't know what happened. Things just got out of hand."

16:00 (talking about cover-ups and scandals). Sniffs a lot. You seem to be a bit miffed at the speculation; is this because it is ridiculous in general or because it is so obvious what really happened?

16:53 "I was the last guy who admitted to being with her (laughs.)" Well, only under duress and isn't it nice that you indicate she was looking to sleep with more than one guy in a night.

17:14 "I didn't do anything against the law." What laws do you live under, Joran? I believe even Aruba has laws concerning perjury, obstruction of justice, and incriminating innocent people in crimes they didn't commit.

17:25 "One day I will explain exactly what happened but right now I don't feel ready to do that." This is the most damning statement you have made during this interview, Joran. IF you did not have sex with Natalee and if all that happened was you sat o the beach and kissed and then left her there unharmed, what more is there to tell? You are a pathological liar and you cannot keep your stories straight. Moreover, if you have not told exactly what happened, yet, you are still a liar and Natalee's mom and the police do not know the truth. And, Joran, when will you be ready to tell exactly what happened? On your deathbed as a dying confession to a crime committed in your youth?

19:20 Joran describes taking jelly shots off of Natalee's stomach while she is lying on the bar. He seems uncomfortable with the whole idea; almost humiliated. He is not laughing at this like he did with talking about never touching a girl aggressively.

21:02 "I wouldn't cover for them (Deepak and Satish Kalpoe.)" I agree with you, Joran. Another psycholpathic behavior is thinking that people are either useful or in the way. Concern for others is very low on a psychopathic person's list. Narcissism is at the top. If you care only for yourself, you certainly are not going to risk yourself for others.

21:12 "People can think what they want (smiles.)" Right, other people do not matter to you.

22:37 "It's almost impossible (within the time frame between the beach scene and the later Internet communications with Deepak) that a crime was committed. (smile)" Maybe the time frame is off, Joran, or maybe you think it is pretty cool how a crime could be managed within that time frame.

23:54 "I am an asshole. What did I do? There is nothing I can do about it now. If I had that moment back, I would make sure she got back to the hotel safely." HERE is probably the only real truth you tell in this interview, Joran. You are concerned for Number One and you probably do wish you had not gone off with Natalee and "done whatever you really did do with her."

24:24 "I didn't think anything really bad happened to her." If this was true, Joran, and you talk about how often girls just run off on Aruba, why were you so quick to lie about dropping her at the hotel and so quick to incriminate others in a crime?

25:17 "Lying is not a crime; even if it interferes with a police investigation, it is still not a crime." Good rationalizing, Joran.

26:03 "I would love someone to come and tell me I did worse because I had never touched a girl in an aggressive way in my life (laughs.)" You just can't keep a straight face when you claim this, can you, Joran?

26:22 The interviewer asks if Joran had sex with Natalee. "First of all (smile), that is none of your business, it is absolutely none of your business." People usually are quick to deny something they didn't do and claim it is none of your business if you did do it. In other words, it is easy to tell a truth that isn't embarrassing or damning.

26:55 "Well, yes, I kissed with her, but neither me, Deepak, or Satish had sex with her." Oh, now it IS the interviewer's business just 30 seconds later? And now that you categorically say you didn't have sex with her, how oculd there be any "exactly what happened" left to tell? That you gave Natalee a hug?

27:30 "I really don't care what people think of me." We got that you are pretty arrogant and self-centered, Joran.

27:50 "I don't want people to think I had no feelings." Oh, oops, yeah, what I just said doesn't sound too good. Let me fix that.

32:05 "I don't respect the mother (for her treatment of him, his family and Aruba.)" Don't you just hate it, Joran, when someone won't stop until they get truth and justice?

32:35 "It doesn't make sense for her to make other people suffer." Glad to realize that it doesn't make sense to make other people suffer...like say, Natalee, your friends that you lied about, the two innocent security guards who spent time in jail and had their reputations trashed because of you, your family because you lied to them, the Aruban people because your lies have caused endless trouble. I guess you can only blame other people for Aruba's problems. Let me encourage you again, Joran, to read some good books on the psychology of psychopaths.

32:50 Joran bows out of the interview but not until offering to speak again in the future. Let's hope the next time we hear from you, Joran, it is in a court of law.

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