What's Booze Got To Do With It?
Sadly, Just About Everything

Date rape is the most prevalent form of rape occurring in the United States today. However, very few of these crimes are ever prosecuted. Why? Not many are reported to the police and not many can be proven in a court of law. Date rape continues unabated because women haven't wised up to the reason they become victims of this type of criminal activity. In a twist on the saying, "There are no victims, only volunteers"….I add, "Where there are volunteers, there are victims".

Before you all type emails to me incensed that I accuse women of being guilty of contributing to their unfortunate situations, let me explain my definition of crime. A crime is something that occurs because a person with a criminal mind can take advantage of another person with relatively low risk of penalty by society being enacted against him. At least the offender must view the risk of penalty as low. Date rape is an easy crime to get away with because the offender believes that the woman will not press charges and if she did, she wouldn't be able to prove her case in court. Why?

Because the woman is usually inebriated at the time. She is drinking and making poor decisions about whom to be with that evening and poor decisions on which activities should engage in. She is an easy choice of a target for the offender. Here is the thought process of Joe, a three time date rapist.

Joe (upon entering the bar) - 'Lots of choice meat in here tonight. Damn! Look at all the slut bitches." Joe gazes down the row of giggling women at the bar tossing down shots. His eyes rest on Sarah, blonde, 5'2", slim, with big tits. He has seen her here before on Friday nights. She reminds him of the girl in the porn movie he watched at the frat house the night before. He remembers Mick talking about Sarah. They used to date. He said she was hot in bed. They broke up a few months ago which leaves the way open for him. Joe comes up behind Sarah. "Hey, aren't you Sarah? From my Calc class?"

Sarah turns her head. 'Oh my God! This is Joe that she had wanted to get with before. He is SO good looking! "Hi, yeah! I'm Sarah!"

The two drink, dance, laugh, and eventually, the bar is getting ready to close. With Sarah on his arm, Joe suggests they go back to his apartment and join his roommate and the roommate's girlfriend for some pizza. Sarah, not wanting to let the evening end too soon, wanting to ensure that Joe REALLY likes her and will ask her out on a date, agrees to go back with him. After all, there will be others there, she reasons.

When they arrive, Joe enters and shouts his roommate's name. No answer. "They will be back soon, " he claims. "Let's order the pizza! I will make us a special drink while we wait for pizza guy to arrive." Sarah doesn't object. It would be rude. Joe puts together a couple of "fancy" drinks, all the while talking about his days as a bartender in Key West. Sarah thinks he is SO interesting. They laugh and drink and pizza boy arrives within the thirty minutes. By the time he gets there, Sarah is pretty damn drunk. The roommate hasn't arrived (and never will that night). Joe has a clear shot now. He slides over on the couch and starts kissing Sarah. She likes that. She is drunk and he is kinda cute. The room is swirling and soon she finds petting has turned into something more. She is somehow suddenly giving him a blowjob.

At this point, Sarah realizes more is happening than she intended and she pulls back and mutters that this is not what she wants to do tonight. Joe pushes her back onto the sofa and she realizes he is fumbling between her legs and is trying to attempt intercourse with her. She mumbles "no" but by the time she says the word (or does she?), he is already having sex with her and though she pushes against him, he is now grinding away and lots of action is happening on top of her as she is being squashed into the pillows. Finally, it comes to an end and Joe gets up and grabs a piece of pizza. Sarah asks for a ride home. Joe says sure. She gets her clothes back on and Joe drives her home.

Sarah closes the door behind her and wakes up her roommate. She is upset. "What's up?" asks the roommate. Sarah tells her Joe raped her. "That piece of shit!" exclaims the roommate. "You have to go down to the hospital and get checked out. You need to get an HIV test." And so Sarah goes to the hospital. She tells the doctor what happened and a PERK kit is done to send samples to the lab. She gets the HIV test, an appointment for follow-up and a pamphlet from the local rape crisis center. When the exam is over, Sarah and her roommate are hungry and go out for breakfast at Dennys. They discuss what creeps guys are over breakfast. They pay the bill and go home. The rape is never reported. Joe wins like he always knew he would when he picked Sarah as his victim.

WHY did Sarah not report Joe? She instinctively knows that she will lose in a court of law. There is no sign of violence. She did not fight him physically. She DID participate in some form of sex with him willingly. She is not a virgin. She has had six partners during the last year and is on the pill. For Sarah, going to court and being humiliated is much worse than accepting that she had less-than-thrilling five minutes of sex with guy number seven. She can't get pregnant from it and as long as she doesn't get a sexually transmitted disease, she will just chalk it up as a lousy night. Joe already knew that was how she would evaluate the "experience" and he knew he could get away with rape and he did.

This is the normal date rape. Yes, there are women who have not had as much to drink. Yes, there are those who did not at all participate in some form of sex. BUT, ALL the women have gotten themselves into a situation, which THEY themselves feel unable to go to court to prove that a rape really did occur.

Following is a list of the reasons that prevent women from feeling able to file charges and win in a court of law:

1. Presently sexually active
2. On the pill
3. On a date
4. In his or her car willingly
5. In his apartment alone
6. In her apartment alone
7. At a party drinking
8. In a bar drinking.
9. Lack of extreme fear - not enough fear to fight for one's life and not enough fear to run half-naked into a hallway and be embarrassed.
10. Above all, no REAL evidence of rape, only sexual activity. It is a he said, she said kind of situation

Each one of these points tells the rapist he will get away with it because she will not fight back and she will not file charges.

IF YOU want to prevent date rape, follow these tips:

1. Make sure you value sex as something special
2. Don't go out with men you do not know well
3. Don't drink in bars and leave with anyone but your female friends
4. Don't go to parties with alcohol flowing and back bedrooms available.
5. Drive yourself to and from places. That way no one can rape you in a car and you will be careful not to drink and drive, so you won't drink much, period.
6. Don't act like a slut. Drinking, giggling stupidly, telling sex jokes and acting in a sexually suggestive manner shows a guy you are an the one to pick for a one night stand, or, if you don't come through with sex, a simple little rape.

Am I saying the rape is acceptable because women are playing into the hands of the rapist? Absolutely not. Rape is never acceptable but women need to understand that making it easier for criminals to commit crime is not acceptable either. Remember, ladies, YOU are partly responsible for the way men view women and you are not doing yourself and your female friends any service by encouraging date rape as a weekend hobby. Choose to spend your time more wisely, productively, and responsibly.

Just say no to Booze, Bars, and Bad Behavior! Stop date rape.

Pat Brown
The Sexual Homicide Exchange

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